Sooner or later, it was bound to hear. On 5th July, Methok’s ear cannot escape the word. Though it was not unexpected, she knew one day it will come up, but it came in a much unexpected way.
According to Methok, Tsering never speaks openly, his eyes would never contact, and whenever people join him in conversation, he always squeezed himself away from them. She looked him as inconvenient and terrible with all sorts of trouble. She knew he was young yet not, as he wasn't energetic and sociable to be young.
So on that morning, during a breakfast Methok state she doesn’t like his brother’s insanity and shyness, which in her mind was foolishness. She asks him to learn to show his face, talk about incidents, situation and event when somebody visits them.
“And with her statement Tsering‘s face turn red, as if someone humiliated him. Furthermore felt like if he was being pressed hard by a creditor to whom he was unable to meet a payment on time. And no doubt, in his knowledge creditor was Methok and payment her expectation.
Hence, meanwhile ‘Tsering said “Shyness is weakness; weakness that every human had, but getting nowhere in 30 is certainly not a weakness”. Apparently for Tsering it was merely tit for tat response. But for Methok, it was enough to recall his lost life.
Nine years before
In those days there was nothing in Taplejung, only had is negative relationship between High degree of politics and quality politics, high rate of unemployment and employment generation schemes. The Nepalese people were witnessing the worst era of their history, both the inflation and deflation arose at a same time, so everything was high with fear, anxiety and curiosity. Beside everyone has questioned in their mind what's going to happen? Are really Maoist taking youth to recruit? Is the tourism boom declining? So what else we do?
On Wednesday it rained all day, it was shivering but wondrous, beside something incredible happened. Something went wrong between the Police and Moist cadre, in violence 5 civilians got killed. That rumor spread whole country like wild fire. Though rain washed away the blood, still people got panic and terrify. The phone rang from capital and various parts of country to inspect what happened? Are they okay? Is he dead?
But for Methok, it was her day. Just after hour of violence Methok was surrounded by political critics-her customer, they spoke of violence. Suddenly the phone rang, her sister was on line, she asked her to come Kathmandu as the atmosphere worsened in Taplejung. Moreover she has to stand on her foot, living in an aunt’s hotel has been neither forever nor will be.
That night she cannot sleep with eager to be in Kathmandu, moon too had not slept. VIBGOR fall on her, shone on her. She saw sky clear as her heart was clear.
Two days later, on Friday. It’s her time, Methok left Taplejung with a sudden rush of joy to see Kathmandu, her America about she heard from passerby, people and in radio. For her Kathmandu was utopia.
Two years later
On Sunday she marked her second year in Kathmandu but still her heart was deep inside the forests. She knew she changed dramatically, people too points out she changed, however she knew only physically as “one may dress like one but one may never become one by heart.”
Again on day before Sunday, her sister and sister’s husband fought and quarrel. No, quarrel and fought. It was the second time in a week they quarrel and fought like a maoist and king's army on the battlefield. All started with sister screamed as maoist cadre (her husband) question her liberty.
Sunlight is not only for men, God had given us right to see the light. Modern women want independence, ‘Her sister said
Because of women like you who call yourself modern woman, women have become more demanding than ever before. ‘Husband responded.
From few exchanges of argument that what women needs and what kind of human, women had become. All things dramatically shifted from one thing to another first it was all about women, then caste, then ethnicity, then religion, then language , then culture and at last possession.
“ And end of everything, no way that women can win, beside based on muscular fight. Poor women what she can do, cry or crush ? Actually both and that's what her sister exactly did. Thereof observing everything Methok was sure, she will not get crushed with man and will later not crush with her a spell.
Meanwhile 7 years passed. Methok’s face start to wrinkle as she reached 27, 27 not old enough but not young enough anymore. Irrespective of every phenomenon due to human nature, she once fell in love. Love? Though she doesn't call it. For her it was fugitive love because of momentary attraction. That vanished with their difference. Furthermore she defines it as natural happening which not only happens, which also dwell with you and you dwell with him. Nothing dwells between them, so they thought it would be better if they distance from each other.
The first few weeks were harsh, that literally can’t describe. She cried like her sister. Soon she discovered solitude. But goodly same year Tsering had finished his Secondary level examination in Taplejung. And on 7th June, her sister had asked her to bring Tsering.
Methok felt it wasn't gone long before she came through same road which still was dusty and bumpy. And when she heard the music of branches of fiery maple trees drifting with the wind and producing rhythm, she felt not long at all.
Everything has reached there except development. When she looked on roof Marxist already haul up flags, when she talk about the forest, Maoist already made it their den, when she watches on the wall, it was full of propaganda of ruling allies, when she glances on the road, it was filled with armed force patrolling. Thus over the years despite of modernizing, it fell backward.
Methok was taking dinner, when her aunt questioned. Are you not going to marry?
All Methok answer was silence as “Silence taught her to be silenced again and again”.
Man never looks women after 25 and you 27 now. You have to marry, don’t become a burden to your sister. ‘Aunt said when she hasn't replied.
She looked at her plate, a combination of yellow dhal and rice, food chemistry that never go wrong for people of Indian subcontinent. Meanwhile she ignored her aunt and drift her into deep thought. As she thought she thought of movies, books and tales that crafted marriage couple as joyful and happier contrary to what she herself witness, not only with her sister, with her aunt too. So as far as she knew she will never going to marry.
Three years after
She reached 30 years last Monday. Till now she still retains her will, not to marry. But something is recently changing. Not because lack of determination to carry on, not because she was concerned about society. But because of herself, her unemployment, her maturity. And because of Tsering who said “Shyness is weakness; weakness that every human had, but getting nowhere in 30 is certainly not a weakness” on today’s morning. That struck on her brain and keeps on cycling within it.
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