Tibetan DIARY

Whenever, I read an anthropological literature/ethnography I get amazed by its minute detail accounts of people and their cultural aspects, whom anthropologists studies! Since past couple of days I am reading this book titled "Tibetan Diary:from birth to death and beyond in a Himalayan valley of Nepal", while reading this book and specially it's chapter on 'family needs versus spiritual deeds' which contradicts Tibetan Buddhist's cosmology and worldly existence, which author shows through biographical anecdote of Pema Dondrop, yet again let me dwell to my child memories and my existential crisis. Which to my reflection on my past life as child I was eager to ordain to be monk and endeavor to seek spiritual life apart from mundane life. However, I am not sure of it now whether my childhood desire/willingness was my innate pursuit or culturally conditioned but whenever I ponder about life rather I will say life style of living at this age I still opt to live a spiritual life. In a way this days, I find myself comply to Buddhist tradition and their teaching which says that 'when we came to realize that suffering is based on our failure to understand the true nature of human existence'. This pursuit of mine is taking me to understanding the true nature of human existence which I tend to seek through spiritual life!

Nyima Dorjee Bhotia

"One of things i cherished about our meting was that sometimes with our fellow friend, a lot of chat becomes about money and business. With Nyima we didn't talk about those things. We talked about books, idea, politics, language and world at large. it was sort of conversation you fantasize having with people you admire."

Is life worth Rs 40000 in Nepal?

How government reacted to Everest deadliest accident by compensating Rs 40000 something was such an insult to hear. Everest is of national interest, the hero's who works there act, acts of bravery. They should be adorned with garland of flower not with eye of ignorance.
The $ 300 million royalty government earns indirectly through them, goes on whose pockets? If government can't allocate portion of it in their relief, when so needed. Moreover its not money its about pride that all of us uphold firmly in our heart.

Where the development of literature heading in Nepal? or still is struck in past?

Extract taken from diary dated 12th April

                                     
The Day before- Kathmandu Cancer Hospital

As I entered I saw a board “welcome to Kathmandu cancer hospital” hanged on the glass door. It was like any other hospital in the country. Names of Doctors, qualification and universities they had attained were adorned on the left side of the information Cell like tiger heads in the hunter’s home. In the background there was a painting by Nepali famous engineer turned artist Arjun Sharma which has covered the whole wall.

I stepped towards  information Cell, it was barricaded by the glass.  Inside there were three staff working on some stuff.

Hello! I greeted.

The central seated male staff who was working on some file turned towards me and ‘said Yes sir, how may I help you?.

Can I know in which room Miss DeepshikHa Lama is?

Sir, what relations you have with her, ‘he asked in a soft voice while checking files.

I don’t have any relationship with her.

But before I could finish what I was saying he interrupted. Sir I can’t give information, it’s against our hospital policy and privacy policy of patients too.

Is it so? But she had called me, can I meet her? I asked.

No sir, how can you. It’s  violates both the policies I referred before ‘ He  answered with fake gestured.

I could have told him that gesturing  is not male job, the male always are imperfect in this art. But I felt it’s unnecessary, so I let it go.

She had called me, I need to talk. She wants to share her story. ‘ I said

What sir, She wants to share a story.  To whom?  ‘ He asked  with a desire to investigate.

No, you are getting wrong. I am a Freelance writer. She wanted me to draft her life into words. ‘ I explained.

Eh! Really?’’ sounds good. But can you manage to write? He said in a doubtful statement, other two also draw their ear to listen, what this 18 years foolish looking creature has to say. Who their in mind even might can’t write a short essay will write a story.

What do you think? Can’t I?

You Gurung? ‘He question

I hate those differentiation questions but I move my head to say ‘ No

Sherpa then? Or Bhote?

Sherpa  ‘ I answered firmly so that other two can also listen.

Hmm! Highlander. ‘ He said for conformation. He spoke again, it’s not you guy's job to write a story. It’s Bahuns and other high caste people's job, they are good at this. Not you people.

I hate his statement more than anything. "these things irritate me. Can’t you please change the topic and let me know can I meet her or Else I have to leave ‘ I said

Sir, you are in Nepal. You can’t get rid of such things.  Even if you succeed in writing what you called story. You have to find a publisher. Most of them are those people and they reject  without going through your script. Then it's going to irritate you sir.

Don’t teach me, I know what I have to do and what I am doing. It will be better if you concentrate on your work. Or else you open the private caste consultancy service, then you consult your client studying their caste what work to perform, what not to perform, what they are good at and what they are not at. I swear You will make good money. You are really good at this. ‘ I said as I calmness

Ouch! Sir, you get hurt? I don’t mean to hurt you. You have taken all things wrong. Anyway lets skipped. Miss Deepshikha Lama right?

Yes,  then can I meet?

Of course, If she called then she might have found something in you, that we don’t have. ‘ Three of them laugh  briefly.  Room No 14, you may proceed .

Where? Second floor?

Go straight, you will find x ray department, in opposite there is a stairs getting upstairs. ‘ I mean  second floor he corrected.
                                                      

Kind Of Education

Education system never amaze me, I always believe that education of this kind never do liberate our thought and neither do implant morality, on which school are set up. In most or almost whole part of India and in Indian sub-continent, education is act of dictation then child endurance to earn and learn.

A Good Retreat

In the middle of year 2010, when i got suffered with abdominal TB, I know how miserable, unlucky and fragile I felt about myself. But yesterday, when i saw people without hair, some as thin as their structure of bone can visible even without going through x-ray.
My mind or let i say inner soul embark me a new thought about myself "how fortunate i am, how beautiful my life was and how beautiful it can be".  When those cancerous people who even don't have few more days to live and cherish life, who are waiting in a lane beholding death. Their family getting despair of unpreventable disaster striking on them financially, mentally and emotionally which might end of their happiness forever, if not for a certain period, for sure.

knot

Strong are the rages of storms,
stronger is knot of my love.

*****

State

“Grant me refugee

In your vast sanctuary

I have no where to go

Nor any place to reach.”