First kiss

Wrapped in your arms

My kingdom

Warm breath,

Frozen in numb of silence

Thoughtful heart,

Ignored shame that risen after each year

While wandering honey bee lips

Soaked up your rosy lips

Sweet fragrance of fresh flowers

And soft flavor of apple

Still entangles me

Modern World, Modern Exploitation

Modern exploitation, slavery and monarch is such we cannot see, nor we have ability to understand. For they are formless, invisible. for instance last month when i visited my uncle in Taplejung. One morning an old man with tattered cloth came and start to converse with my uncle;

Bhai, there is a new NGO who yesterday told us not to carry load unless hirer pay Rs --- per kilo, which they says is limited wage fixed by Govt.

Hearing him my uncle at once got heated and shouted to old man "then ask them for job.

No, Bhai i was only saying, 'old man said out of guilt.

I am paying 80 only, if you are willing then even i can hire you for next time. 'My uncle replied,

And what else porter can do, he have to agree. If not for himself  but for children.

Above example is very minor case, compare to various other, some we don't know actually is exploitation. After all employer is paying in regular basis and employee has sense that it is his duty to oblige each and everything. 

Footnote:

we have to agree capitalism has brought prosperity to world, given us things that we can't dream of 50 years back, lifted millions of family from poverty to middle class. But middle of this all glitter of light, where only white have to be install, there is more powerful, larger volt- black lights are installed and hidden beneath the ground where white light cannot reach. 

   

What is your legitimacy?

To be king of his or her own  fate. Political transition take place with hardship, endurance and endless sacrifice of common folks.  But contrary thereafter, how shift of power take place smoothly without any hindrance, among few vigorous agitator and magical orator who mastered language and can play with words as no one can, whose lie can carry common folks to mystical land, where joy and joy can only be found and nay, not a trace of suffering miles, miles afar. 

But what about remaining 90 percent? Are they privilege enough they can enjoy what they promise for?  All i can say is No, they end up with no option, but to dive inside that same polluted water for which they once fought to clean. And when someone capable from this 90% with vision come out to counter them, the new crowns. all they ask is same as last autocrat or whatever but in cunning way, in more organized manner,  'what is your legitimacy to ask us such question? you are anti-establishment, traitor and what and what they wish to. 

Insane

When rhythm of my laughter delicately dance as sweet whispers, is i who laugh in my own act.

Farewell to you, Great Heroes-

In honor to heroes who deceased in recent Everest avalanche.

Many come to glorify their existence, and return with glow.
Millions will fail to compensate thee, such rich is thy life.

Of thy lost, Sky, thy companion pouring his tears this morning to night
And from the heaven above fire clash to earth, for his voice in anger.

And within this pain of wound, another, deeper pain flickered its flame
Ignorant will die of shame.

Farewell to you, Great Heros
Thou hast brought glory to the home
In purest way.  Farewell to you!

Footnote:

Ignorant: Word ignorant is used to represent, 
1)  those who romanticize name of "Sherpa" in a folk song, poetry and in various form of art and 
2) To responsible authority who failed to pay honor to heroes, deceased in recent avalanche.

Conspiracy behind-Killing of Tibetan tyrant.

According to ancient Tibetan history, the last so called Tibetan emperor Lang-Darma was assassinated in  interest of Tibet. But the question is, was he solely assassinated for the interest of the country? Or was his assassination was just a conspiracy in interest of Buddhism?

The most historians of that time had written, him as ‘a monster with horn in the head’ who was on the pace of evacuating Buddhism from Tibetan soil.   So I believe their judgement of an event was one sided and Pro-Buddhist interpretation rather intellectual understanding of an event. They answered why he was assassinated, ‘because of  his of anti- Buddhism act which harm sentiments of Buddhist population but they haven't answered why he was on  that way.

 A recent discovery by some intellectual ‘quotes that flourish of Buddhism led to the declination of economic development of Tibet, a country once with power to annex whole central Asia.   So,  may he being emperor of Tibet and being a responsible person for  the economy of a country, he might have taken such drastic steps. Which made him an enemy of powerful elites and nobles who were Buddhist.

After his assassination, once again Buddhism flourished but contrary then their believe Tibet became more divided, economically weaken and for 400 hundred years Tibet left without a king who can rule entire Tibet as a country.  Moreover his death was followed by civil war and the dissolution of the Tibetan empire, leading to the Era of fragmentation.

 Therefore, 1) If assassination was in interest of Tibet why Tibet weaken rather than becoming more powerful and unified.
 (2) The second argument is a popular belief of Buddhist mythology that the four sons of Jajima who constructed Bouddhanath. ‘After completion they  prayed for their next life ‘ and believe is that they prayed only for themselves, leaving animals who transported bricks, stones and soils.
So the elephant move by uncompassionate behavior,  in anger against them offered a prayer that he be born demon in the next life to dismantle what four sons of Jajigma prayed. while a crow who was listening each and every prayer, heard the prayer of elephant,  who prayed for the destruction of the holiest religion, and he  prayed that he be born to protect religion, which elephant prayed to destroy.

 And later in next life elephant was born in the form of Gyalpo Langdharma and his assassinator was not other than that crow (Lha Lung Pay Kyi Dorje) who prayer to protect religion.  Now it depends on us whether to believe in myth that too is a Buddhist interpretation or to search for a logical answer without being influenced by Buddhist study.

Reference:
http://info-buddhism.com/Tibetan_Buddhism_Compassioate_Killing_King_Langdarma-Jens_Schlieter.html
Wikipedia Boudhanath Mythology

Untitled

In sunny day of June, my work is hard,
For she accepts not a single penny of unfair offering.

And there stands many obstacle
Before truth, Such Sun comes to thrill in a midday.

But never I felt the burden, for she comes to clear obstacle arouse by heat. 
And visualize thought in an action. 

Power in mother's love.

When death came to embrace me in a dark year
I gave up and bow before him to take me to heaven.

For I could not fight, within me pain was grief and mighty.
Is only thy courage that brought back breath of sigh in me.

Mother, my days and years would pass in a silence amazement
To know how tremendous power is in thy love.

Tibetan DIARY

Whenever, I read an anthropological literature/ethnography I get amazed by its minute detail accounts of people and their cultural aspects, whom anthropologists studies! Since past couple of days I am reading this book titled "Tibetan Diary:from birth to death and beyond in a Himalayan valley of Nepal", while reading this book and specially it's chapter on 'family needs versus spiritual deeds' which contradicts Tibetan Buddhist's cosmology and worldly existence, which author shows through biographical anecdote of Pema Dondrop, yet again let me dwell to my child memories and my existential crisis. Which to my reflection on my past life as child I was eager to ordain to be monk and endeavor to seek spiritual life apart from mundane life. However, I am not sure of it now whether my childhood desire/willingness was my innate pursuit or culturally conditioned but whenever I ponder about life rather I will say life style of living at this age I still opt to live a spiritual life. In a way this days, I find myself comply to Buddhist tradition and their teaching which says that 'when we came to realize that suffering is based on our failure to understand the true nature of human existence'. This pursuit of mine is taking me to understanding the true nature of human existence which I tend to seek through spiritual life!

Nyima Dorjee Bhotia

"One of things i cherished about our meting was that sometimes with our fellow friend, a lot of chat becomes about money and business. With Nyima we didn't talk about those things. We talked about books, idea, politics, language and world at large. it was sort of conversation you fantasize having with people you admire."

Is life worth Rs 40000 in Nepal?

How government reacted to Everest deadliest accident by compensating Rs 40000 something was such an insult to hear. Everest is of national interest, the hero's who works there act, acts of bravery. They should be adorned with garland of flower not with eye of ignorance.
The $ 300 million royalty government earns indirectly through them, goes on whose pockets? If government can't allocate portion of it in their relief, when so needed. Moreover its not money its about pride that all of us uphold firmly in our heart.

Where the development of literature heading in Nepal? or still is struck in past?

Extract taken from diary dated 12th April

                                     
The Day before- Kathmandu Cancer Hospital

As I entered I saw a board “welcome to Kathmandu cancer hospital” hanged on the glass door. It was like any other hospital in the country. Names of Doctors, qualification and universities they had attained were adorned on the left side of the information Cell like tiger heads in the hunter’s home. In the background there was a painting by Nepali famous engineer turned artist Arjun Sharma which has covered the whole wall.

I stepped towards  information Cell, it was barricaded by the glass.  Inside there were three staff working on some stuff.

Hello! I greeted.

The central seated male staff who was working on some file turned towards me and ‘said Yes sir, how may I help you?.

Can I know in which room Miss DeepshikHa Lama is?

Sir, what relations you have with her, ‘he asked in a soft voice while checking files.

I don’t have any relationship with her.

But before I could finish what I was saying he interrupted. Sir I can’t give information, it’s against our hospital policy and privacy policy of patients too.

Is it so? But she had called me, can I meet her? I asked.

No sir, how can you. It’s  violates both the policies I referred before ‘ He  answered with fake gestured.

I could have told him that gesturing  is not male job, the male always are imperfect in this art. But I felt it’s unnecessary, so I let it go.

She had called me, I need to talk. She wants to share her story. ‘ I said

What sir, She wants to share a story.  To whom?  ‘ He asked  with a desire to investigate.

No, you are getting wrong. I am a Freelance writer. She wanted me to draft her life into words. ‘ I explained.

Eh! Really?’’ sounds good. But can you manage to write? He said in a doubtful statement, other two also draw their ear to listen, what this 18 years foolish looking creature has to say. Who their in mind even might can’t write a short essay will write a story.

What do you think? Can’t I?

You Gurung? ‘He question

I hate those differentiation questions but I move my head to say ‘ No

Sherpa then? Or Bhote?

Sherpa  ‘ I answered firmly so that other two can also listen.

Hmm! Highlander. ‘ He said for conformation. He spoke again, it’s not you guy's job to write a story. It’s Bahuns and other high caste people's job, they are good at this. Not you people.

I hate his statement more than anything. "these things irritate me. Can’t you please change the topic and let me know can I meet her or Else I have to leave ‘ I said

Sir, you are in Nepal. You can’t get rid of such things.  Even if you succeed in writing what you called story. You have to find a publisher. Most of them are those people and they reject  without going through your script. Then it's going to irritate you sir.

Don’t teach me, I know what I have to do and what I am doing. It will be better if you concentrate on your work. Or else you open the private caste consultancy service, then you consult your client studying their caste what work to perform, what not to perform, what they are good at and what they are not at. I swear You will make good money. You are really good at this. ‘ I said as I calmness

Ouch! Sir, you get hurt? I don’t mean to hurt you. You have taken all things wrong. Anyway lets skipped. Miss Deepshikha Lama right?

Yes,  then can I meet?

Of course, If she called then she might have found something in you, that we don’t have. ‘ Three of them laugh  briefly.  Room No 14, you may proceed .

Where? Second floor?

Go straight, you will find x ray department, in opposite there is a stairs getting upstairs. ‘ I mean  second floor he corrected.
                                                      

Kind Of Education

Education system never amaze me, I always believe that education of this kind never do liberate our thought and neither do implant morality, on which school are set up. In most or almost whole part of India and in Indian sub-continent, education is act of dictation then child endurance to earn and learn.

A Good Retreat

In the middle of year 2010, when i got suffered with abdominal TB, I know how miserable, unlucky and fragile I felt about myself. But yesterday, when i saw people without hair, some as thin as their structure of bone can visible even without going through x-ray.
My mind or let i say inner soul embark me a new thought about myself "how fortunate i am, how beautiful my life was and how beautiful it can be".  When those cancerous people who even don't have few more days to live and cherish life, who are waiting in a lane beholding death. Their family getting despair of unpreventable disaster striking on them financially, mentally and emotionally which might end of their happiness forever, if not for a certain period, for sure.

knot

Strong are the rages of storms,
stronger is knot of my love.

*****

State

“Grant me refugee

In your vast sanctuary

I have no where to go

Nor any place to reach.”

In the freedom of solitude

The phenomenon of solitude is that it either embarks enlightenment of thought to provoke even goodness in badness. If not rather it leads to suffocation with discovery of lonesome state, and this discovery sometime demands life.

How i love thee

Ten thousand times or more I met thou before

Still stranger glance I ever gaze to thee.

From a many distance I visit thee

Still ever surprising such is thou.

Many of knots are broken in opposition,

Still I know nothing except to love thee.

Mad man

I left everything, every object, every gift, every memory and every things that binds me.
I scarified this life that is grown with knowledge dictate rather then learn with endurance.

I turned myself into madman and in madness I earn the degree of thought,

I am mad I travel endless to reach and still I never reached
As only mad knows there is not a thing call home, we all are refugee.

And in madness I reborn.

Shame

When thunder rage upon thee and thine every thought deepens into a wound .
How thou bring glow in thy act makes visible invisible god.

And seeing thee, what a shame comes to me
My tolerance is master of none.
In a flash of a thunder I sit to compose impure song.

Eternal

Thou hast embark me eternally,
Before Thee wise I do meet
Are group of  impatience fools
Manipulating each words to conspire
Conspiracy against their pretended fool.

Come to Trouble land

In rightful act of virtue,
I see the wrongful sin committed.

In the name of mythical God,
They separate me from them.

 In seek of physical pureness,
They intoxicate their inner purity.

Mother, come to trouble land of mine
Only thou can unite this fragmented heart.

Your strength

When I parted from thee,

My separation was thy very own.

When I came back after defeating oppressor,

Oppressed came to thee to give their thank.

Ah! Mother at last they come to know;

My bravery was thy strength.

Invisible

I'm afraid your quest will go in vain.

You will never find me in a flower garden
Nor will you get to gaze me around dusty street
I am void, for search I have no identity.

Rumor

They have mixed many alcohol in your glass and served.

Your anger was no wrong

You was drunk of rumor and was lost.